How to Plan a Funeral: A Step-by-Step Checklist

To plan a funeral: get the legal pronouncement of death, check for a pre-paid plan or written wishes, choose burial or cremation, pick a funeral home (get itemized prices from two or three), set the date and venue, plan the service, and order 5-10 death certificates. Most families do all of this in 5-10 days, one decision at a time.

This checklist puts every step in order - so on the days when your brain is fog, you can just do the next line.

The first 24 hours

• Get a legal pronouncement of death. In a hospital or hospice, staff handle it. At home, call the hospice nurse if there was one - otherwise call 911.
• Notify immediate family. A short call beats a perfect one: "I have hard news. [Name] died this morning." You do not have to comfort everyone; ask one relative to spread the word.
• Look for a pre-paid plan or written wishes. Check files, safes, and email for a pre-need contract, burial insurance, or a letter of wishes. Veterans may qualify for burial benefits. Finding this first can change - and fund - everything else.
• Arrange transport of the body. Once you choose a funeral home (next step), they handle this. Nothing else has to happen tonight.

Days 1-2: the big decisions

• Burial or cremation? If wishes weren't written down, next of kin decides. Cremation buys time - the memorial can happen weeks later, which matters for scattered families.
• Call 2-3 funeral homes and ask for the itemized price list. In the US, the FTC Funeral Rule requires them to give you one. Prices for the same services routinely differ by thousands of dollars across town.
• You don't have to buy everything from the funeral home. Caskets and urns can legally be bought elsewhere (often for far less), and the funeral home must accept them.
• Decide on the type of service. Traditional funeral, graveside only, or a celebration of life - there is no wrong answer, only what fits the person.

Days 2-4: date, venue, people

• Set the date - typically 5-10 days after the death (some faiths call for 24-72 hours).
• Book the venue: funeral home chapel, house of worship, graveside, or a community space.
• Choose an officiant - clergy, a celebrant, or a steady-voiced family friend.
• Notify the wider circle. A group text or a single point-person keeps you from repeating the news forty times. If people ask what to say to you, our guide on what to say when someone dies is one to quietly forward.
• Write and publish the obituary, if you want one. Two honest paragraphs beat a formal essay.

Days 4-7: plan the service itself

• Order of service: welcome, music, reading, eulogy (1-3 speakers is plenty), music, closing words. Under an hour is kind to everyone.
• Ask eulogy speakers early - they need days, not hours, to prepare.
• Choose music and readings. The song they hummed doing dishes belongs here as much as any hymn.
• Print programs and choose photos for a slideshow or memory table.
• Assign roles: pallbearers, greeter, someone to run music, someone to watch the guest book.
• Plan the reception - simple is fine. People come for the company, not the catering.

Documents and notifications (the unglamorous list)

• Order 5-10 certified death certificates through the funeral home now - banks, insurers, the DMV, and pension providers each tend to want an original, and re-ordering takes weeks.
• Notify: employer, Social Security (the funeral home often files this), life insurance, banks, credit cards, utilities, landlord or mortgage holder.
• Locate the will and contact the executor or an attorney - but know that almost none of this must happen before the funeral. It can wait until after.

The day of the service

• Confirm timing, flowers, and transport with the funeral home the day before.
• Arrive early with a small kit: programs, tissues, water, phone chargers, a copy of every speech (speakers forget theirs - truly).
• Let your assigned people do their jobs. Your only job is to be a person who is grieving.

And one thing that isn't on most checklists: eat something that morning. Grief runs on a body.

What a funeral costs (so nothing blindsides you)

Rough US medians: a funeral with burial runs about $8,000-$10,000; cremation with a service is typically $6,000-$7,000; direct cremation (no service through the provider - you hold your own memorial later) can be under $2,000. If money is tight, direct cremation plus a self-hosted celebration of life is a loving, legitimate choice - not a lesser one. Ask about payment plans, and check whether the county, a faith community, or veterans' benefits can help.